Wedding Day Tips for Neurodivergent Folks

HEY THERE!

Your wedding day should be a celebration of love - not a sensory overload marathon or an anxiety-fueled social obligation. If you're neurodivergent, traditional wedding advice might not always fit your unique needs, and that’s okay! Whether you’re navigating sensory sensitivities, executive dysfunction, or just the general chaos of a big event, there are plenty of ways to make your day feel comfortable, joyful, and 100% you. Here are some tips to help you craft a wedding day that honors both your love story and your brain’s preferences -because you deserve to enjoy every moment (without needing a three-day recovery nap after).

build in quiet moments of connection

For most of us, our partner is our safe person - the one we look to for solace + comfort when everything else feels a bit too much. Planning intentional pockets of time where the two of you can connect can be really useful in mitigating anxiety + stress on your wedding day. You’d be surprised how little you might see of each other that day without some careful planning! If you’re not sure when you can find these moments throughout the day, I’ve got a blog post coming with some helpful tips - stay tuned.

exchange private vows to avoid ceremony jitters

If public speaking gives you heart palpitations, saying your vows in private might be the solution for you! It can feel challening to bear your soul in front of an audience, even if they’re your favorite people. Choosing private vows gives the two of you a space where you can be fully vulnerable without the added pressure of performing perfectly. If you’d like this part of your day documented, it can flow seamlessly from your first look and give you an added moment for intimate, tender photos.

choose a sensory-friendly outfit

Clothing can play a major role in our comfort. If your outfit is too scratchy, too snug, too hot…you’ll definitely feel the effects of it on your wedding day. Some specific irritants to be on the lookout for are: beading under your arms, shoes that feel just barely comfortable enough to wear, undergarments that roll or make you feel squished, limited range of motion from off-the-shoulder tops + dresses, and oppressive hair accessories. Most of these potential snags have solutions (you can even ask your tailor to remove the beading under your arms), so don’t worry! You definitely don’t have to give up your dream wedding look. Whenever possible, I think it’s always a good idea to have a pair of reliable + well-loved shoes on deck (nobody will notice if you change them!) and maybe even a comfy outfit to slip into when you’re ready.

it’s okay to take breaks

Truly. It’s alright if you + your partner need to sneak away during your cocktail hour to have a snack in peace. You’re allowed to leave the dance floor to chill in the dressing room for a bit. Even though the party may revolve around you, you’re not obligated to spend the entire day entertaining. Find moments when your guests are otherwise occupied (eating, drinking, dancing) to recharge so you can rejoin the party with energy left to spare.

Skip the receiving line - greet guests at your own pace

From one neurodivergent person to another, receiving lines are my nightmare. Making the same idle small talk with 50+ people in the span of 25 minutes should be illegal. Fortunately, traditional receiving lines have been slowly on their way out of common practice, and your guests won’t mind one bit if you send them straight into a cocktail hour before mingling with them. Take some time after your ceremony to decompress with your partner, get yourself a glass of water, and say hi to folks when you’re ready. This allows you to break up socializing a little more - some before dinner, some during, some after - and gives you space to choose who you wanna spend your time with (i.e. not your mom’s friends from work or your cousin’s new boyfriend).

pack your sensory & stimulation essentials

Whether it’s a spinner ring you attach to your bouquet for the ceremony or a joint to smoke after, don’t forget your sensory items in your emergency kit. A few personal favorites that won’t feel too out of place on a wedding day would be: a tin of sour candies, fidget jewelry, a Calm Strip inside your clutch, discreet earplugs for dancing, or a pocket-sized fan if you’re prone to overheating. Bringing your comfort items along on your big day - even if you don’t use them - is a great way to prepare for any overstimulating moments that might come up.

choose a brunch wedding for a quieter day + earlier night

Maybe the big wedding isn’t for you - but eloping doesn’t sound quite right either. Let me introduce you to your new best friend: the brunch wedding. This is a great alternative for the couple who want to celebrate with their friends + family, but aren’t interested in an all-day affair. Most brunch weddings begin with a ceremony around 10-11am, followed by a buffet of every good food under the sun (think waffle bar, hashbrown casserole, delicious pastries, quiche, breakfast tacos - whatever your heart can dream up), and maybe a first dance. They typically wrap up by 2-3pm and you + your partner can be back at home with your pets in time for a cozy dinner in front of the TV if you want. Brunch weddings allow for a quieter vibe and are well-suited for board games rather than a raucous dance floor. If you’re struggling to envision yourself enjoying a traditional wedding day celebration, I think this just might be the fit for you.

sending you all my best on your wedding planning journey!

I know it can feel like such a massive undertaking. If you have any questions, thoughts, or other tips, feel free to reach out any time! I’m happy to help you acheive the wedding of your dreams.

XOXO, Alyssa